Hey, it's Independence Day, right? He was just celebrating his freedom!

It's not that hard to walk across the street without dying, you just have to look both ways. Which some people fail to do.

Cursing out the judge is not going to help your case.

Remembering to wear a cup doesn't make up for drinking shitty beer.

Wait, Iraq has trees?

This is what you get for riding a scooter instead of a Batpod loaded with missiles and shit.

If you were being humped by a freak with no legs and mini-arms, you'd probably just give up and hope it's over with soon too.

I like cold soda too, but you keep your chocolate wang to yourself.

Well that's one way to avoid an accident. Bet he crapped his pants though.

Not only can they not drive, they can't operate the transport of the future.

No one ever breaks anything on the trampoline. It's always getting off that's the problem.

They could load this cop into a catapult and use him to crush criminals under a ball of blubber.

Hopefully by posting this, some reject will try to look this cool and end up making a video of himself busting his ass for the rest of us to laugh at.

That cannot have felt good at all.

I'm just happy to see some more of those traffic-weaving douchebags taken off the road.

Yeah, admitting that you sniff women's chairs would be kinda embarrassing.

The only things that should blow up in your mouth are bubble gum and penises.

Just because it doesn't have an engine doesn't mean you can get messed up in it.

I love how everybody just steps over the dead guy like he's not even there. I'd bet my left nut this happened in Eastern Europe.

Today's young women are going to struggle to find guys who don't have broken noses when they decide to settle down and start a family.