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IRISH LAWYERS JOKE from http://dajoker.ning.com
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Lawyers1
Where do lawyers come from? True story about how an attorney, Joe Acton, took my leg and didn't return it. Call him and ask him to return it. 425.269.2233, 425.284.3011, 888.377.8752, or email him service@versuslaw.com , info@zaydoe.com . And tell Jack Black at Acceptable.tv to play more Lawyer jokes.
Open: Bar stools, two people, three legs, and one true story.
Give Joe a call and ask him to return what he stole.
One Leg: Excuse me, aren’t you the Bellevue attorney, Joe Acton?
Two Legs: Yes, can I help you?
One Leg: I have a good lawyer joke, would you be offended?
Two Legs: Trust me, I’ve heard them all, plus I have one leg up on you.
One Leg: What do you mean?
Two Legs: A couple years ago I made a movie about gays in the military who got injured. It was a scam like THE PRODUCERS, but it didn’t go anywhere. I had many people in Seattle on the hook. I also borrowed this guy’s leg for a film prop and didn’t give it back. So I got one leg up on you. Get it?
One Leg: Well here goes, ok?
Two Legs: Ok, go for it.
One leg: An elderly, gentlewoman was speaking with her gynecologist. “Doc, you know I have been married to Bill for 54 years, our life has been good, and sex has been wonderful. But lately, Bill has been taking these sex drugs and he wants to experiment. He wants to try anal sex. Can you give me any advice?”
“There are just a couple things I should tell you. Take it slowly, because it might hurt and remember to have Bill wear a condom.”
“Excuse me doctor, but what is a condom for?”
“Because that’s where lawyers come from.”
Two Legs: That’s a new one to me, but not very funny.
One Leg: Well it doesn’t seem funny to lie and rob people.
Two Legs: Those are the first two things you learn when you practice law.
One Leg: You don’t remember me, but that was my leg you borrowed, stole. When you going to give it back?
Two Legs: Is that you? I promise I’ll get it back to you.
One Leg: That’s what you said two years ago.
Two Legs: No, I’ll make sure you get it back.
One Leg: That’s what you said one year ago and one month ago, and just the other day.
Two Legs: That’s what lawyers say. Look, call me and remind me to give it back.
425.269.2233 or 425.284.3011 or toll free (888) 377-8752 or fax me 425.250.0157, I gotta run.
VersusLaw, Inc.
8383 158th Ave NE
Suite 250
Redmond, WA 98052
Phone: (425) 250-0142
Fax: (425) 250-0157
Phone: (425) 250-0142
Toll Free: (888) 377-8752
Fax: (425) 250-0144
service@versuslaw.com
billing@versuslaw.com
info@zaydoe.com
View all 1 »
Thursday, May 3, 2007 5 days ago
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<p><b><u>Open:</b> Bar stools, two people, three legs, and one true story. <br>Give Joe a call and ask him to return what he stole.</u><br>
<b>One Leg:</b> Excuse me, aren’t you the Bellevue attorney, <b>Joe Acton? <br></b>
Two Legs:</b> Yes, can I help you?<br>
<b>One Leg: </b>I have a good lawyer joke, would you be offended?<br><b>
Two Legs:</b> Trust me, I’ve heard them all, plus I have one leg up on you.<br><b>
One Leg:</b> What do you mean?<br><b>
Two Legs:</b> A couple years ago I made a movie about gays in the military who got injured. It was a scam like THE PRODUCERS, but it didn’t go anywhere. I had many people in Seattle on the hook. I also borrowed this guy’s leg for a film prop and didn’t give it back. So I got one leg up on you. Get it?<br><b>
One Leg:</b> Well here goes, ok?<br><b>
Two Legs:</b> Ok, go for it.<br><b>
One leg:</b> An elderly, gentlewoman was speaking with her gynecologist. “Doc, you know I have been married to Bill for 54 years, our life has been good, and sex has been wonderful. But lately, Bill has been taking these sex drugs and he wants to experiment. He wants to try anal sex. Can you give me any advice?” <br>
“There are just a couple things I should tell you. Take it slowly, because it might hurt and remember to have Bill wear a condom.” <br>
“Excuse me doctor, but what is a condom for?” <br>
“Because that
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